Friday, February 6, 2009

A Battle Almost Won... Part I

A sad story: Once upon a time there was a precious (and wonderful) blue '07 Nissan Altima that belonged to a gorgeous Princess. The Princess had moved into a new kingdom that was full of strife and messed-up-ness. Against the Princess's will, the pretty Altima had to be parked in front of the castle beyond the moat, instead of in the carriage house as it should have been because there simply wasn't a carriage house to be found for miles. One day, when the Princess went to visit her trusty steed, she found that a side-view mirror had been ripped from her darling car. She searched everywhere for broken glass to see if the Altima had been damaged by some "hoopty" of this realm, but to no avail. The mirror had been ripped off, leaving the casing fully intact but sadly missing its reflective gem.
An annoying story: In her sadness and remorse, the Princess took the Altima to a respected Nissan doctor who told her, "For sooth, great Princess, I cannot replace just the mirror. I must remove the entire casing because the Nissan God does not allow the mirror to be sold separately of its component. You must purchase the entire entity for 478,392 gold pieces." (This roughly translates to just over $300) The Princess was outraged by the doctor's analysis and refused to allow him to treat her valiant Altima and vowed to find the mirror on her own. For days and days she toiled over the phone and computer to find that every replacement was either not worthy of her gorgeous roadster, or was simply a cheaper form of the full component that the Nissan doctor had promised her. The Princess was saddened and dismayed, feeling that she had completely failed her beloved Altima.
A redemptive story: The Princess was near wit's end in her search. She had called and typed and researched until her fingers were sore and her melodious voice harsh from begging for the lowly replacement. She decided to make one last phone call; a last ditch effort to save her noble friend. The Princess called upon Zinsel, a glass wizard, and told him her long and sad tale, in the hopes that maybe he could help. The gentle and kind Zinsel replied, "Fear not, lovely Princess! I can heal your broken Altima! I can replace the appendage for a pittance. Only 893 gold pieces and your beleaguered motorcar will be as good as new!! (This roughly translates to $35) The Princess was overjoyed. She praised the glass wizard and promised to bring her Altima as soon as the mirror had been conjured. And even now, good denizens, the Princess rides to repair her Altima and the kingdom will rejoice. There will be much laughter, singing, and mirth. To the mead hall!!

4 comments:

Katie said...

Freaking hilarious!!

Anonymous said...

Now that is a blog!!
~ang

Bart and/or Ari said...

Where was her Prince during all of this...?

Bethie said...

And here I thought "now is a great time to sell your unwanted gold". But if 893 gold pieces on equal $35, I will keep my gold, thank you very much.