Hot Cross Thumbs

Ari says:
If I am unable to use my space bar today you'll have to forgive me. You can blame Angela all you want, but you'll have to forgive me. Let me 'splain, Lucy. Angela called me this weekend and told me she had purchased a gazebo for her backyard. This was great for her because she's had a bit of difficulty getting good shade in the yard for Bastian (her precious puppy) and also wanted something to make the yard a little cozier. So, when she asked for me to help her set it up this week, I quickly agreed and figured it would be fun to have a little project. "The box says it only takes an hour and a half to set up." Right. Little project... hour and a half. Right. I got to her place around 6:30 and we promptly set out for dinner. I know, that's the best way to start any project. Got back to her house and began getting everything outside and ready for launch. It took us a few minutes to get all the pieces out and separated into proper groups, according to their lettered stickers (the best were the ones that didn't have stickers). After that we kinda fell apart. We started with one corner, jostling and juggling parts A, B, C, D, J and K (someone didn't know their alphabet) and after an extended period (probably around 45 minutes or so) had the first corner assembled. The second corner proved almost as difficult, but we were starting to get the hang of it. Please keep in mind that as we discovered random maladies (ie: Bar J not fitting properly into a certain A, but would work in others, Bolt CC was not interchangeable with Bolt AA, Bar J and Bar K are in fact very different, etc) a colorful stream of expletives would spew forth from which ever of us had made the discovery. We also found that if anyone overheard someone else assembling a gazebo, it would sound like a sexual experiment gone awry ("You have to twist it to get it in." "There's no hole." "Just shove." and my personal favorite "Yank it back out.") At 9 we finally called a break, went and grabbed some much needed caffeine and returned to finish the last two corners. Luckily the 2nd two proved very easy in comparison and we had those up in no time flat. Then came the frame. It wasn't a confusing item to put together, just physically demanding. Each bar had to fit into another (Insert corner G into bar I, then screw in bar H which will fit into center piece L) (unfortunately, neither the instructions or diagrams were that clear), and was latched with a metal nub that when pushed in would allow the pieces to slide together and then the knob would pop back out into a pre-drilled hole, thus linking the two pieces. Yeah, let me just say that those little nubs are metal spawns of Satan. Miniature torture devices designed to test your courage and thumb strength and coerce you into quitting just shy of your goal. With each one, you were forced to place your entire body weight behind the very tip of your thumb, as the rounded protrusions would gouge into the pad of said appendage. We were not to be swayed. We got the outer frame put together with many grunts, groans and "ow, damn"s and then set to the inner frame. We traded off climbing the ladder and using our force of will and mighty thumbs were finally able to get everything into place. We did a little victory dance and let Bastian come out to inspect his new awning. All in all, it was very rewarding to see it all put together. And I really must say that this gazebo is our bitch.